S01E09 - A Word on Perseverance

[Theme Music]

Hello and welcome back to Carry On with Criselda.  As always, I am so grateful that you have stopped by to join us today.  If you would bear with me for a moment.  I just wanted to mention, this podcast is just getting started.  I’m not sure how obvious this is but we are in the US, and I noticed that we had a few listeners from Germany, Canada, France, UK, Brazil, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Ukraine, Guatemala, Slovenia, Vietnam, and that’s not all.  Still others throughout the world and I can’t tell you how happy that made me.  So, I just wanted to give a shout out to our new friends and say welcome.  And of course, here in the US we have California, Texas, Florida, New York, Illinois, North Carolina, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, Oregon, Virginia, Ohio, Nevada, Colorado, Maryland, New Hampshire, Vermont, Tennessee, Rhode Island, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Minnesota, Missouri, Indiana, Iowa, Connecticut, Arkansas, Alabama, Wisconsin, and several other states in which I was unable to get a geographic location but wherever you are listening from, I am truly, truly honored that you have tuned in.  Thank you so much.  Be sure to stay till the end for another special, lighthearted message.

What do you think of when you hear the name Vincent Van Gogh?  You probably think of one of the world’s most famous artists of all time.  Did you know he only sold one painting while he was alive?  Just one.  “The Red Vineyard at Arles (The Vigne Rouge)”, pardon me if I mispronounced that.  It is now displayed at the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts in Moscow.  However, despite having a difficult time selling his paintings in his lifetime, that did not stop him from creating almost 900 paintings, several of which we are all familiar with.

How about Bethany Hamilton? A professional surfer, who at the age of 13 was attacked by a shark and lost her left arm.  Then one month later, she got back on her surfboard and won first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA (National Scholastic Surfing Association) National Championships.  Which then led to an autobiography and eventually a movie.

Then there’s Sir James Dyson, inventor of the renowned Dyson ball vacuum cleaner.  After 15 years, most of his savings and 5,126 prototypes of the vacuum which were failures, he finally got it right on his 5,127th.  Can you imagine that?  I’m going to link an interview article I found on him in the description.  If you have the time, I think it is quite an interesting read.  I love his take and viewpoint on failure, which is a dreaded prerequisite to true success.

So, what do these three examples out of countless others have in common?  They all have a penchant for perseverance.  I can only imagine how traumatic the experience must have been for Bethany Hamilton, especially in that very moment, when that shark took her arm.  Or how disheartening for Van Gogh that painting after painting after painting, he could not sell a single one until only a couple of months before his demise.  Or how frustrating it must have been at times when Sir James Dyson kept failing over and over while trying to perfect what would be the suckiest vacuum known.  Pun intended.  But what they had was an unwavering passion or driving need to finish what they started.

So now I ask you, are you going through something in which you should persevere?  I remember a time in my twenties when I had a major setback.  And after I sought encouragement, perseverance was the thing I needed to hear that would aid me in picking myself back up and carrying on.  When people go through disappointing setbacks, I think those who remain in their pitfalls are either drawing from past experiences that have discouraged them from thinking they can achieve the kinds of results they are looking for.  Or they realize what an enormous feat accomplishing a given goal would entail and they leap to the conclusion that they’ll never get there, already setting themselves up for failure in their mind.  I can tell you one thing, accomplishing any major goal will indeed take time and much effort.  And until one realizes that that, along with failure or setbacks, is part of the whole process, they will remain unaccomplished.  Failure and/or setbacks are part of the process.

So here are some suggestions on how to get yourself back up on your feet, to persevere.

1. Think about what you’re thinking about

First things first.  Before you can even consider any of the other tips on perseverance, you must first make sure to purge and cleanse your mind of any negative thoughts about your ability to achieve something.  One of my favorite quotes about this is by Henry Ford, who said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”  You must replace your negative stinking thinking with thoughts that will empower you and encourage you that you absolutely can achieve success.  But not only your thoughts.  You must also watch what you say too.  If you have a bad habit of thinking negative thoughts about your abilities, you probably reflect that in your speech too.  And I know first-hand, it does take practice.  Even today, I catch myself after the fact, saying things I shouldn’t have said that didn’t reflect that positive or “can do'' attitude that I’m after.  And without judgment, I just self-talk my way back to creating the new habit I want.  I encourage you to do the same.

1. It’s about the journey

Not that you should forget about your goals, but in order to get there, you’ve gotta embrace the journey because it’s the very building blocks that tie your blood, sweat, and tears to the end goal that you could then look back on with gratification.  It’s what makes the goal that much sweeter.  When it comes to any big goal, there is no sense of accomplishment unless you go through the failures, the rejections, the setbacks, the time and energy spent.  It just doesn’t have the same meaning because it’s through the hardships that you can learn, improve and grow.  I myself am not too psyched to think about some of the things I’ll have to endure on this journey that I’m on, but I have a need, a passion and a “big why”.  Check out episode 6, where I go into “your big why”.

1. Know your abilities

When faced with setbacks, rejections or failures, don’t allow them to keep you down.  I know it’s easier said than done.  Yes, it is distressing and daunting to hear for the umpteenth time that you are not good enough or your hardest attempt was nowhere near the mark or that you were trucking along just fine until something, or someone brings you down.  But that is not the end of the story for anything worth pursuing and it doesn’t have to be for you either if you are going through something right now.  Collect yourself and take note, an honest evaluation, of all your strengths and your weaknesses.  Know what’s working and either continue or double down on those things accordingly.  And as far as your weaknesses, don’t get discouraged by them.  They are just indications, a gauge of what you need to work on, whether you figure it out yourself or find a source or someone who can help you.  It’s a very important life skill to learn.  Remember, it’s all part of the process.

1. Pivot

Continuing on that same vein of working on your weaknesses, if they are conducive to the outcome you seek, they should be seen as challenges that need to be faced with a ‘can-do’ attitude.  It’s ‘game on’.  This is where you level up your skill set or your mindset.  If you don’t want to take no for an answer, you pivot.  Do something different in order to get a better result.  You do what you’ve gotta do to keep yourself in the game, in the race, or on the radar.  You just may find yourself capable of something you didn’t even know you had in you.

1. Be open to suggestions

Be open to suggestions to a point.  It’s good to have an idea or a vision in your mind’s eye of where you want to see yourself.  Along with some well thought out strategies and tactics, you have a way to execute your plan.  And sometimes it is quite helpful to get advice from people who are accomplished in what you are trying to achieve.  Or you might get feedback from clients which is an invaluable thing to have especially if you are trying to build something.  Where you want to tread carefully though, is to be selective on who you allow to offer friendly advice.  Make sure you are only considering those who are truly giving you well intentioned constructive criticism and not destructive criticism.  I mean, if they are doing it in a way that is uncalled for, especially if you are just looking to learn and grow, then don’t listen to them.  They’re putting out bad energy and you don’t need that.  Also, you don’t have to tell everybody everything, especially if you don’t want opinion overload.  That can get overwhelming fast.  My opinion is to keep a boundary on that.

1. Learn from mistakes

Learn from both your mistakes and the mistakes of others.  Keep note of what others have done and learn from them what doesn’t work.  Now of course, sometimes just because something did not work from someone else does not mean it won’t work for you.  Just be mindful of their mistakes as a mental note for you on what not to do.  Just the same, which goes without saying, the same applies to you.  You don’t want to continue making the same mistakes and expect a different result.  Learn from them, be intentional about changing and growing.  Also, don’t be hard on yourself when it comes to mistakes.  I know it can be frustrating when you just aren’t getting it right.  A change in your mindset can alleviate any unnecessary stress.  So, you failed at something.  Instead of labeling yourself as a failure, look at it as, now you have experience.

1. Be easy on yourself

Although this is about perseverance, which, to me, that term sounds unrelenting, a real go-getter of a term, do give yourself a break.  You are only one person.  As mentioned before, it’s a journey, which takes time and lots of patience.  An oak tree doesn’t grow overnight.  It takes time to grow a business, to get a degree or certification.  It takes time to work on a strained relationship or to heal from a difficult life changing situation.  It all takes time.  If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be lasting and it wouldn’t be as meaningful.  I just don’t think it would warrant the same degree of appreciation.  

1. Don’t seek others’ approval

Believe in yourself.  Don’t always second guess yourself.  I completely understand the feeling of wanting to have the approval of certain people.  But what if you don’t get it?  Does that change the effort and heart that you put into something?  It doesn’t.  So, whoever it was, didn’t validate your work.  Validate yourself.  If you know you did a good job or are on the right track, be proud of yourself.  Give yourself the credit you deserve.  You know, the last company I worked for rejected me for over four years.  I kept trying and trying.  With every rejection, I worked on building my skill set and tried again, only to be rejected again.  Then after the fourth year, I finally got my foot in the door; same company, different department.  Sometimes the person whose approval you seek is not the person you need.  I’ve thought about what would’ve happened had I got the job the first time I applied.  I like to think I probably wouldn’t have been happy there.  I probably wouldn’t have been happy with the boss or co-workers.  Remember, this is your journey and if someone can’t or won’t believe in you, then move on.  But even if they would approve of you, although it’s nice to have, the main approval that you need is yours.  So, hold your head high and be confident in your own abilities.

1. Find your authenticity

Wow, this one’s for me as well, a good reminder.  It’s only natural that we want to project ourselves a certain way.  We want to be well received by certain people and taken seriously.  And sure, in some settings, that absolutely makes sense – at your job or certain organizations where there’s a certain etiquette that you must uphold.  Just be sure that you’re not losing yourself.  There is only one authentic you.  You are doing a disservice to yourself if you try to go at life imitating someone else.

You know, I took my own advice with some of these points for this very episode.  I had a completely different topic, planned and half-way written out.  I had several sources set aside.  Then somewhere halfway through, I found just one article that completely blew my topic out of the water.  It stated that all the previous articles that I hand-picked had it all wrong.  Needless to say, I was very discouraged, confused and disappointed.  All those articles I picked out to support my topic were things I thought I had a handle on, but it turned out, they took on several misinformed key points and spread it like wildfire.  I had to make a choice on how to proceed with what I had worked on up to that point.  I decided to scrap it because if that one article, that said all the others had it wrong, was correct, then I don’t want to perpetuate that by repeating what they said.  I was going to need more time to look into the validity of that one article.  Again, feeling my disappointment in the amount of time and effort I had already put in, only to ditch my progress and start over again, that was when perseverance came to mind.  It’s just one of those things in life that we must go through occasionally.  

What about you?  Are you going through something right now that will take perseverance?  Then allow me to be your cheerleader and say to you, “Don’t quit, don’t quit, don’t quit!”.  Yes, it’s an uphill struggle.  Yes, it will take time.  Yes, it will take energy.  It may even take certain emotions out of you – frustration, sadness, stress, shame, humiliation, regret, worry, dread, fear.  But don’t let it stop you.  You can do this.  It is just a stepping-stone to something better.  This could actually be a great blessing in disguise.  Little by little, step by step.  Just take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you write your story, and your story reads that you are a person who perseveres.

If you enjoyed this episode and know of anyone else who would enjoy this, then please share it with them.  Also, if you care to say hello to me, you can find me on Twitter @cowc_podcast, on my website, carryonwithcriselda.com or my email address, carryonwithcriselda@gmail.com.  I have the links in the description.  I have also shared the article I mentioned in the episode.  Thank you for being here with me today.  Until next time, carry on with perseverance.

—------------------------------------------------------------

And now, the 12 Days of Christmas.  And because I value your time, I shall begin from 12.

On the 12th day of Christmas my podcast sent to me:

12 rave reviewers

11 listeners listening

10 episodes published

9 downloads playing

8 followers following

7 people sharing

6 scripts a typing

5 rated stars

4 cups of coffee

3 mics a sounding

2 earbuds on

And a Carry On with Criselda podcast!

I know, terrible singing, but may you, your family and friends have a most joyous holiday season.

[Theme Music]