S01E17 - Wait, Is It Really Almost Valentine’s Day?

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Hello and welcome back to Carry On with Criselda.  As always, I am so grateful that you have stopped by to join us today.  Be sure to stay till the end for another special, lighthearted message.

Tell me.  How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?  A week from now people in many countries will be celebrating their significant other by having roses, chocolates in a heart shaped box, balloons, and/or stuffed animals delivered to their partners place of work along with a card telling them how special they are and how they can’t wait to see them that night before finally getting off work, fighting against rush hour traffic (if you live in a big city) to make a 7:30 reservation, then dancing, a movie or who knows what else.  All the while those who are lonely and don’t have a significant other are left with the eye-vomit (I couldn’t find an antonym for eye-candy) of red, white, and pink hearts spewed everywhere they look.  And suffering from internal FOMO wondering when it will be their turn, they put on a brave face around the office so no one will know the true thoughts that linger in their minds.  “Those are beautiful flowers.”  I hope they get in a fight tonight.  “That chocolate looks good.”  I hope she gets an allergic reaction to them.  Then, having to fight through the same traffic as the hungry lovebirds out on the roads, which is making it 10 times worse, when they are just trying to get home so they can heat up their microwave dinner, watch a sad movie and get to bed so they can forget about the day already.

I hope the latter is not describing you.  Although I know there are some who truly dread this day.  It’s a reminder of what they don’t have.  Some may even plan to be sick that day so they can call in to avoid it altogether.  Not a bad idea, I suppose, for a person who is in that position.  Although, my opinion?  Valentine’s Day has certainly exploded into a monster of a holiday that is led by consumerism.  Christmas wasn’t even over before I started seeing Valentine’s Day merchandise in some stores.  Do people really plan that far ahead just to send a card to someone?

Let’s see what ChapGPT has to say about the history of this holiday:

Valentine's Day has its origins in ancient Rome, where a festival called Lupercalia was held in mid-February. During this festival, men would draw the names of women from a box and the couple would be paired together for the duration of the festival. Some historians believe that this festival may have been the origin of the custom of sending anonymous valentines.

In the 14th and 15th centuries, the tradition of courtly love in Europe also contributed to the idea of Valentine's Day as a day for expressing love and affection. During this time, poets and authors such as Chaucer wrote about the romantic ideals of courtly love.

In the 18th and 19th centuries, Valentine's Day became increasingly associated with romantic love, with the exchange of gifts and cards becoming more common. It was around this time that the modern Valentine's Day holiday as we know it today began to take shape.

In the United States, Valentine's Day was first officially recognized as a holiday in the early 20th century. Today, it is celebrated in many countries around the world, including but not limited to:

• The United States
• Canada
• Mexico
• The United Kingdom
• France
• Italy
• Spain
• Germany
• Australia
• Japan
• South Korea
• China
• India
• Brazil
• Argentina

However, the customs and traditions associated with Valentine's Day can vary greatly depending on the country. In some countries, Valentine's Day is primarily a day for romantic couples, while in others it is also a day for friends and family to show appreciation for each other. Some countries also have their own unique traditions associated with Valentine's Day, such as the giving of chocolates or flowers.

Honestly, I’ve been in both scenarios during Valentine’s Day.  Had someone.  Didn’t have someone.  In my late teens to twenties, I really wanted to have someone to celebrate with.  Then I did and it was nice a couple of times but in retrospect, we were playing a part in the system that was set up for us to celebrate.  I realize that may sound like a Debbie Downer to some but it’s my truth.  There was an obligation on what to wear, what to buy, what is expected of each other.  Just, unnecessary pressure to be what you normally wouldn’t be, had it not been for a holiday that says that’s what you should do.  Call me weird, but in many things…. many things, I tend to view unconventionally.  I mean, why don’t I just say, what a great holiday, and enjoy the gifts?  Now, don’t get me wrong.  If I were to receive a Valentine’s gift, I wouldn’t turn it down or anything.  I’m not a cynic.  I would certainly be grateful for it.  Afterall, I still get the annual Valentine’s card or GIF from my mom with her love to which I respond in like.  But my point is, to me, love should already be expressed everyday, not an extra special amount on a societally imposed holiday.

To be clear, if you celebrate Valentine’s Day, I don’t judge at all.  I know that most people still do and if that’s what makes you happy, then by all means, do what makes you happy.  What I’m merely expressing for my single friends who so want to have someone on that day to shower them with a bunch of flowers, teddy bears, jewelry, and a fancy dinner, but you’re left feeling unloved, now would be a good time to dig deeper into why.  You oughtn't feel less than on that day.  I know it can be difficult, especially when all those around you and on social media are covering the holiday as if it's the only day of the year that you have to catch a fish.  It's just one day among 365 to show your love, but the fishing industry (aka big greeting card company) wants you to believe that this day is the only one that matters.  Well, as far as social media, if it’s too difficult for you to bear, then steer clear.  Plug in your earbuds and listen to this episode again.  

As far as everyone else you run into in person, separate yourself from the negative thoughts that try to bombard you with negative feelings.  Every thought is a choice.  It starts with a decision.  It’s a decision that you tell yourself first.  If you find yourself trailing along a line of negative thoughts, stop, recognize it, and understand where it’s coming from.  Most likely they are limiting thoughts and beliefs about yourself.  Then, decide which direction you are going to lead your mind instead.  Maybe it is a reminder that this holiday, which people celebrate, does not determine your value or self-worth.  And understand that the point is not to sneer at those who choose to celebrate this holiday.  This isn’t about taking a high road because it’s not a high road.  Remember, everyone has their own journey.  But as for you, my friend, it’s about getting yourself to a place where you’re almost neutral.  Great for that person who is getting gifts.  As for yourself, even if you don’t have a special someone, you are loveable, you are valuable, you are worthy.  And not just on Valentine’s Day.  Everyday.  And if on the next Valentine’s Day, you have someone in your life and you want to celebrate it, go for it.  Again, no judgment here.

You know, I almost went into talking about different ways that you can spend Valentine’s Day if you don’t have someone to spend it with.  Ideas you probably heard about already like Galentine’s Day or treating yourself to a spa.  But I think that it’s more important that you hear a message about viewing Valentine’s Day in a different way.  It’s a matter of your mindset.  My thought is, don’t get caught up in wanting to celebrate a holiday just because it’s what everyone does or because you feel that is what is expected of you.  But if you still feel whole-heartedly that you have thought it through and you still love celebrating, then celebrate to your heart’s content.

If you found any encouragement or food for thought from this episode, please send some love my way and I will tell you how, coming up.  Until next time, carry on with love.

Welp, next week is Valentine's Day.  Um, is there anything you want to tell me?  Any sort of action you’ve been meaning to take?  You know, it’s just a lot of podcast hosts are talking about the follows they’re getting and nice comments they’re receiving.  And well, I’d like to receive a five-star ring, rating.  I know, I just talked about not celebrating Valentine’s Day just because everyone does it.  But I can’t help it.  I want to be wooed by you.  And the way to woo me is to follow, comment and rate this podcast.  There, I said it.  Now, I’ll go back and listen to the episode and follow my own advice.

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