S01E03 - Feeling Overwhelmed?

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Hello and welcome back to Carry On with Criselda.  I am so happy and grateful that you are here.  Stay tuned till the end for a special, lighthearted message. 

Today we’re talking about feeling overwhelmed.  Can you relate to this?  I’m betting you can.  Everyone gets overwhelmed from time to time.  Some days it’s as though something decided to dump everything on us like a pile of bricks all at once. Or, it can happen incrementally until all of a sudden, you are ready to rip your hair out, or someone else’s.  How do you normally deal with it?  How do you have a plan of action ready on how to deal with it when it comes?  Can you even recognize when you are feeling overwhelmed?  Me?  Sometimes I’ve been overwhelmed to where I don’t even realize I am overwhelmed because I’m so focused on everything I have to do in the limited amount of time I have to do it in and I’m frustrated or I’m annoyed and stopping and thinking about the fact that I’m overwhelmed doesn’t even occur to me at that time because I’m too overwhelmed to even think about it.  And God help the person who gets in my way while I’m feeling overwhelmed.  You too?  Good, we’re on the same page.

But we want to be better, right?  This is what this podcast is about and in order to get better about dealing with overwhelm we need to recognize the signs ahead of time and have a plan of action for when it happens so that not only can we save ourselves from any headaches, we can also save any other poor people who have been left in our wake curled up in a ball crying themselves to sleep.

Now, first, I’ll share four signs you may be feeling overwhelmed, followed by five actionable steps you can take to combat it the next time you feel overwhelmed.

So, signs of feeling overwhelmed.

1. You’re irritable or defensive

Nothing compares to that feeling of irritability when you’re trying to focus and concentrate only to get bombarded with constant interruptions.  You just want to accomplish your goals for that day, that project or that hour.  You find yourself tense and holding back the urge to snap at someone for bothering you yet again.  You come across as defensive which could put an unnecessary strain on your relationships with your loved ones, friends, co-workers or even well-meaning strangers.

2. You’re trying to do it all

You have way too much on your plate.  Everything is circling your mind at the same time, the phone calls you have to make, the meetings you have to attend, the bills you have to pay, the cleaning you have to do before that dinner party you are to host over the weekend as a networking opportunity for your job. Oh, but before you can clean, you have piles of stuff in the way, you know, your collection of knick-knacks from your hobby that you haven’t had time in the past six months to do. So, do you add ‘sorting through your stuff and decluttering’ to your list before you can clean or just shove it all under the bed or into a closet knowing you’ll still have to eventually go through it? And that’s just one of the rooms.  How about the rest?  Plus, you still need to figure out what’s for dinner tonight on top of taking care of the kids. Oh, taking care of yourself?  Who has time for that?  So you continue full throttle, determined you’ve gotta get everything done and you might, but it comes at a price:  mental exhaustion, physical exhaustion, even your sanity.  Your well-being is much too valuable.  How do you expect to give your best or to put out a good product if it’s coming from a place of overwhelm?

Whew, that was a long one.

3. All or nothing mentality

If you are the type of person that thinks, “If I can’t do it right or I can’t do it all, I just won’t do it”, then you may be a perfectionist.  (And we’ve got a future episode on that, by the way.  Stay tuned and follow us.)  You see everything you have to do as a whole which overwhelms you, which causes you to procrastinate.  I have been there!  It feels pointless to even begin.  How do you begin?  Where do you begin? How can you make a dent in such a monumental task?  You’d rather just avoid it or hide.  You already feel defeated before you’ve even begun.

4. You’re indecisive

You’re willing to tackle the job or jobs but you’re kind of wishy-washy about it.  You start on something over here but then you get distracted and leave it for something else over there.  You don’t finish the task that you started nor do you feel like finishing it.  Or, you’re waiting to “feel like doing it”.  That’s a toughie since it’s motivation and focus we need.  I can definitely relate to this one too and I’ll tell you now, you can’t rely solely on motivation.  As in, you can’t wait for the feeling of motivation to come to you.  You have to conjure it up yourself.

Okay, so those were the signs of overwhelm.  Now here are some actionable steps you can take today to get you back on the road to success.

1. Progress over perfection

The key to developing momentum to getting your tasks done is to first, just begin and secondly, take it in bite sized chunks.  That means, letting go of the need to be absolutely perfect. Progress always happens little by little. Even if it’s just five minutes you can spare toward your goal, go for it.  That’s five minutes you’ve advanced yourself versus remaining in the same place for not having taken that opportunity. And by the way, news flash, no one is perfect. There are some who have a hard time believing that.  Unless you purposefully did a sub-par job, as long as you earnestly gave your best effort, people are more forgiving than you know. And some people don’t care about the minute details that you do. Remember, little by little, you can accomplish much.

2. Learn when to say no

I know, sometimes saying no is hard to do, especially since you’re known as being helpful and reliable, plus it’s in your nature to want to help others. Although there is a time to be that person, it’s also important to recognize when saying yes is not beneficial to your physical, mental or emotional well-being.  After you get your bandwidth down to a reasonable capacity where you have more free time, then you can go back to being the super awesome helpful person that you are.  And by bandwidth, we mean what you can comfortably manage within a given amount of time. 

3. Brain dump

Are you asking, “what did you just say”? Yes, brain dump! In other words, write it down.  If you don’t already do this, you are missing a good opportunity to free your mind (and the rest will follow).  Part of the reason it’s difficult to move past the overwhelming feeling is because we have so much information, reminders, and to-do lists floating in our brains, and then we’re trying to do everything without prioritizing because we’re worried we’ll forget anything that we have to do if we don’t do it now.  You know, like a chicken with its head (cut off)?  Writing these things down is super helpful to see what really needs to be done from the things that can wait another time. Now, you’ll probably have things on your list that you have to do anyway, daily basis things like, prepare dinner or do the dishes. The goal of this list is finding one to three extra things you can do that will advance your project or purpose.  Highlight those things, then go out and do it. Be sure to check it off your list once you’ve completed it so that you can have that visualization of accomplishment and you’ll see that you are getting stuff done.

4. Ask for help!

Gasp! This, in my opinion, is the toughest one on this list.  So many people, present host included, have a very difficult time asking people for help. I know, it’s so tough!  It’s either for one or more of these three reasons: 1) You don’t want to impose on anybody, afterall, they have busy lives too, 2) You’d rather just do it yourself because, you know that old adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself”, and 3) You’d like the help but you are so overwhelmed you don’t even have time to teach someone how to do it.

Well, back to that list I suggested earlier, one of those highlighted things can be to set some time aside to delegate some of those chores on your list to those people that do have some time to help.  If there’s a certain way something has to be done, spend that time to teach another person or child even, how to do it.  I’m reminded of the quote that says, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”.  And that also takes care of having it done the right way, or depending on what it is, the good enough way.  Remember, you don’t have to do everything yourself.

5. Take care of yourself

This is more about incorporating as a lifestyle, than just a one off tip. One of the best ways you can bring your best self forward is to take care of yourself on a regular basis.  Are you doing that?  Nothing puts you on the road to burn-out faster than always operating on overdrive. That’s not a healthy way to live. It is imperative that you take some time for yourself, whether they are periodic breaks throughout the day or treating yourself at the end of everyday to decompress by doing something that relaxes and rejuvenates your body, mind and spirit. A nice hot shower, listening to relaxing music, reading a book, praying or meditating. Different things work for different people.  Do what works for you.  And for goodness sake, get a good night’s sleep, what so many of us lack.  

Alright, and just because we like you, here’s a bonus.

Bonus: Just breathe

We get it.  Life really can get quite hectic.  In those moments when you just need a de-stressor right now, you can always pause for a moment or two, close your eyes and take a few deep slow breaths.  Feel your lungs filling up and releasing. This regulates your heartbeat which then helps your body to relax. This is useful when you are between tasks.  I find myself practicing this one a lot.  Instead of just diving to the next thing, breathe and you will be well on your way to living a more relaxed and productive life.

If you found these tips valuable, please like and follow us. And let me know in the comments, which tips you plan on taking to help you the next time you feel overwhelmed.

Thank you and have a purposeful day.

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Hey, how’s it going?  Third episode accomplished, it’s like our third date now.  How are you doing?  Everything going alright with you?  Look, I’m sorry for getting a little needy the last time.  But you know, I think it goes without saying that we like you.  And by the sounds of it, I think you like us too which is why you’re here.  You’re curious and want to know where this is going.  Me too!  Which is why I think you should follow us!  Otherwise, it’s like not having us programmed in your phone contacts and when you want to get a hold of us again, it’s like, who wants to keep scrolling through your history to locate us, right?  But if you follow us, we’d be easily accessible for your listening pleasure whenever you need us.  M’kay, pumpkin?  Alright!  See you next time!

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