S01E01 - My Story

[Theme Music]

Hi and welcome to Carry On with Criselda.  I am so excited that you have joined us today for this first episode!  The goal for this podcast is to strike a chord into the spirits of listeners who need encouragement, inspiration, direction, motivation, and we plan on doing that through different means.  We’ll offer different suggestions and strategies. Now, not everything is necessarily going to be for everyone, but everyone can definitely get something out of what we are going to offer here.  Some of the things you can look forward to will be topics such as visualization, having a spirit of gratitude, releasing your past, boundaries, and mindfulness just to name a few.  Now I’m sure you’ve already heard some of these topics in plenty of places.  I sure have.  However, I personally like to hear different people’s perspectives and experiences on these subjects so it is my interest to add to that conversation.  I definitely have some encouraging things that I want to scream from the mountaintops, “Don’t do what I did!”.

So with that, I think it’s only fitting for me to set up this episode as an introduction to who I am.  But don’t worry, I will only touch on the parts of my historical timeline that I can actually draw from to use as talking points for future topics.

So without further ado….Once upon a time, the year was 197-something, October.  The day the heavens opened up.  No, I’m kidding.  I said I wasn’t going to do that.

Ok, so, there’s not an awful lot I can say about my childhood, at least, just yet.  I will say that I was a naturally introverted child so going into the school environment was mortifying for me.  I was an easy target for mild bullying.  I say mild, because so many years later, I’ve just gotten over it.  But of course, during that time, it was really tough to go through.  And I had at least one bully in elementary school, one in middle school and one in high school, at least one.  I hope they are all doing well in their lives now.  And, no, I’m not being facetious.

School was tough for me.  Plainly, I just did not like it.  I did not want to be there.  Now, it wasn’t all doom and gloom.  I did have a number of good memories, academically and socially.  But, overall, I would’ve preferred to stay home or have a different type of education where I could have a one-on-one learning experience, as selfish as that may sound…..for a student in the public school system.  I know homeschoolers do it all the time and think it’s just awesome!

The thing I most regret, coming out of school and approaching adulthood, was not having a mentor.  Even in school, now I’m gonna be honest, I personally didn’t find any of my teachers showing an interest in me or my future.  In retrospect, I only speak for myself, I felt like we were cattle being prodded through.  Need to move along and get these kids graduated so we make room for the next herd.  Now please, please understand me.  I am absolutely, unequivocally aware, that there are countless teachers now and in the past that are just the cream of the crop.  In fact, I have both friends and family who are wonderful teachers.  But, I think we can also agree that some are not.  That’s in any line of work.  There are just some who care and some who do not.  They just want to get through the day.  But you know, again, I was a quiet, introverted student, so I don’t know.  Maybe they all thought, “Eh, she seems good.”  I don’t know. It was just an unfortunate, mediocre experience for me. 

But again, I have heard a couple of success stories and how they found a mentor in their early adult life.  And that’s one thing I would change if I could rewind time.  But, I suppose it just wouldn’t have been meant to be.

Now, if you are wondering about my parents.  Well, my mom has always believed in me.  Whatever it was, she has always believed in my potential.  And my dad has always supported me too.  He’s the kind of person that would give the shirt off his back for those he loved and cared about.  But sadly, that wasn’t enough.  Although greatly appreciated, that didn’t spur me to have the confidence or self-esteem I needed because I needed to be the one to believe in myself.  For so many years, I relied heavily on needing validation from others.  I thought that’s what I needed and I looked for it, not in a blatant or desperate way, but I looked for it, because it appeased my insecurities.  Boy, it’s kind of gross, hearing myself talk about this, but necessary.  Because, I am describing a person that was, and is no longer.  And that part feels good and I can’t wait to get into that episode when we talk about releasing the past.  I’ve got lots of encouragement to give you guys.

So for years, I was doing life haphazardly, working so that I could survive.  Not really living.  Oh, I had certain goals along the way, but again, never really approached them strategically.  I only looked at point Z from my point A and didn’t learn how to first get from point A to point B.  And then, along with my very limited beliefs and low self-esteem based on my past experiences and negative thoughts that I kept reminding myself, it was no wonder I didn’t progress.

I tried to find answers along the way and my purpose by going to church.  And I have to preface this just like school, if you go to church and feel wholeheartedly that that is the place for you, then you must follow your convictions if that is the thing that will serve your higher purpose.  Our message here is always, one of peace.  We are not about inciting dichotomies.  We aim to create a community of acceptance and openness.  [I guess that was a disclaimer.]  And with that, the only way I can share my insight and offer the hope and encouragement that I want this show to provide, is to also talk about the bad experiences.  Although church was for me at the time, it now isn’t.  The experience was like, imagine visiting an exquisite restaurant with enticing, cozy lighting and ambiance, and food that was unforgettable and you decide, “I’m going to work there.  I’m going to apply for a position.”  You get the job, you arrive for the first day, and you get to look behind the kitchen doors and realize, “Yeah, not so exquisite”.  Well, that was my experience.  And it wouldn’t be until years later, that it occurs to me that I still didn’t learn to lift myself up.  And side note:  I still believe in God, or a higher Spiritual Intelligence/Source.  But now my relationship is with Him, outside of church.

I just lived stuck in my comfort zone, year after year, satisfied with complacency.  Well, not really satisfied, but not willing enough to do something about it that challenges me to level up in a big way.  Because I was afraid, lacked confidence, unmotivated, lazy, a perfectionist, complacent, [enter lie and limiting belief] here.  Yeah, I was all over the place. And now, at the age that I’m at, I’m not as young anymore, but I’m not that old either.  But, I look back and, enough is enough.  Right?  I don’t want to go out with nothing to show.  And I want to encourage anyone listening, if any of this hits home, don’t delay in investing in yourself and finding what suits you well.  What makes you happy?  What do you wish to accomplish? What wonderful gifts or talents do you have to share with the world or even if it’s just for one special person?  Or even if it’s just for yourself.  Is there anything in your goal that you don’t know yet or don't know how to do?  Well, then you absolutely can find a way if you keep searching.

Look, you either have a goal in mind or you just haven’t really thought about it yet.  Life can definitely get super busy.  And when we are set in our routines, it almost seems impossible to do anything outside of it.  But, if you are listening to this podcast, that tells me you are searching.  And that’s a good start.  People have all sorts of excuses why they can’t do something or won’t.  I was one of them.  But you cannot afford not to do the thing that has been stirring in your heart to do.

So now, it’s how?  How do you get past the past?  How do we develop a good mindset?  How do we accomplish our goals?  Well, do join us for future episodes where we will delve into the answers to these questions.

And with that, I thank you, thank you for being here and experiencing this first episode with us.  I appreciate you very much.  If you think this podcast would help someone else, please share.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Hey, pssst, if I can get a little personal with you.  I feel like this was our first blind date with each other and I believe I can speak for the both of us when I say, it went swimmingly well.  I felt like we were on the same page and there was this, I don’t know, undeniable energy.  I definitely want to keep in touch and make plans for another date.  I think you do too.  And so we exchange numbers.  But in the podcast world, that means you follow so that we will not lose touch with each other and we can talk again on our next date.  And it also means you give the show a five star rating.  You can stalk us – I mean find us, wherever you get your podcast.  I expect – look forward to our next date.  See you then.

[Theme Music]